So, okay, today I need to get dressed. Ya, super shocker, I know, but today I need to go see people I haven’t seen in years! And the last time they saw me, I was a Size-5 kinda girl, and I kinda liked being a Size-5 kinda girl, and I kinda liked being SEEN as a Size-5 kinda girl. You know, the pretty one with the long legs and slim waist — “Oh what??? SHE’S had three kids?!!? Oh my, what youth, what beauty, what blessings!!”

Well, don’t be fooled. Sometimes the most “beautiful people” are the most befuddled by some bad beliefs, always comparing and staring, and checking in the mirror to see if they still look just right, in the right ways, for the right people.

And so, MAYBE I know this because, well, MAYBE I’ve lived this — but MAYBE (I sure hope!!!) I’ve learned from this “Cycle of Silly” to share with you some serious TRUTHS.

FACT ONE: COMPARISON KILLS. Yup, maybe you already knew this, but that sneaky, silly, shaky concept we can oh-so-easily catch ourselves DOING to each other (and maybe even to ourselves??) is one of the worst trigger points to get you, and me, to feel our WORST in whatever way possible!

I know this because when I look back on life, I was the “Comparison Queen.” And it wasn’t so much that I would compare myself to other people around me, but (and here’s the super sneaky one) I would compare myself to … my OLD self in a whole other SEASON of my life!!!

Yes, somehow, in my Carol-Conroy heart and brain, it made total sense to say and think that I, as a 35-year-old mother of 3, will, can, and should look exactly like, no wait, EVEN BETTER, than I did when I was twenty (you know, when I glowed with youth, was extra FULL of energy, and my hips had never even dreamed of delivering a baby). 🙂

Yes, SEE how reasonable and rational THAT idea was??!!! LOL!! 

I can easily laugh at that now, but if I honestly think about it, I really did believe I could keep it up! Keep looking young enough, thin enough, pretty enough to still look, do and LIVE like my old other, aka in MY brain, “BETTER” self.

Whoa, can you smell an INcorrect-IDENTITY issue here???

Oh yes, there sure was!! And what I can so easily SEE now is that WHILE I was caught in the endless cycle of COMPARISON, aiming for (and only SEEING) what I know now are EMPTY and ENDLESS “goals,” I was truly BLIND to the best gifts and blessings already all around me — the people, the purpose, the passion, the promises, the PEACE — oh, the REAL REWARDS and BLESSINGS God has laid out right there in His WORD for me in THIS PRESENT WORLD … and in about 1001 ways.

I began to see that, WHOA, sometimes I was SO “stuck” in a soul-sucking and even MORE sneaky cycle of comparing ME to “positive” things or people or experiences, but they weren’t in MY world, or were only meant for MY past.

Yup, it is true. It was gross and a big fat “Ewww.” So much negative energy, effort and attention going down the drain.

But once I DARED to let go of the CRUTCH of COMPARISON, I slowly felt myself SEE and SEEK a new mission and identity. And I sure found it in something a LOT more solid than what a mirror might have to say.

Yup, I no longer bought into the belief of needing to be “THE Best” or my “OLD Best,” but really tried to go for only what GOD says is my SOUL-BEST, right here, right now, in THIS PRESENT.

And all that takes is … the daily decision to be fully present, fully listening and — here is the HARD part — fully TRYING what His Word has to say. No longer stuck looking back at what was BEFORE, but facing forward and faithfully following HIS well-laid-out “PATH of PEACEFUL PROMISES” written right there in HIS book.

Yup, it is ALL in there, in those black and white words I get to daily CHOOSE to DIG up and DEPEND on. And by reading what HE has known all along, I begin to NICHE out a “NEW NORMAL” for my LIFE … for ALL my LIFE … for the REST of my life!

A NEW kinda AWESOME “ENDLESS,” but one that brings the deepest JOY. (And heads up — completing the questions at the end may help you see where to begin!)

Yup, I am no longer a woman stuck in the cycle of trying to REGAIN what is all GONE (or maybe, better said, trying to SQUEEZE and PINCH into a pair of jeans that no longer fit my frame — imagine how PAINFUL a day doing that can be)!! 🙂 

Nope, I now EMBRACE the NEW NORMAL of daily growing my SOUL over stewing about my SIZE. OLD AIMS gone, NEW growth IN!

Oh, ladies, learn from me: it’s never about the size or shift of your hips, but the expansion and shape of your SOUL!! And I’m so looking forward to chatting the next few weeks about a few new SOUL-GROWTH concepts you don’t want to miss. But till then, thank YOU for taking the time to be here today!

Be Bold, Be Brave, Be Beautiful (whatever SIZE you are!!!) Women of GOD!

Carol 🙂

Questions and Reflections  

1. What was the area (areas?? LOL!!) I was having an issue with at the front end of the story? How many can you see or hear or read? Do you relate to any of these? And if so, why do you think that is?

2. What are the things I caught myself comparing myself to? Are there other areas that people can compare? What do you think we compare ourselves more to: others in our world, ideals in media, our OLD life, standards and expectations from those around us, standards and expectations from ourselves? Or anything else?

3. Is there any danger from comparing ourselves to others? Especially to outside issues? Let’s see what God’s WORD has to say about this 2 Cor 10:12, Exodus 20:17, and Matthew 20:1-16.

4. How was I defining “BLESSING” at the beginning of the story? What did it shift to by the end? Why did that process take place? Do you think change like this is possible for anyone? Painful? Peaceful? Why or why not?

5. What TRUTH did I have to learn to use when defining “what and who” I am? What was the issue with trusting my own brain? Why was GOD’s Word a better option? What were the results of reTRAINING my BRAIN to COMPARE to HIS standard over using my own?
6. Do you feel there could be an area in your life you now catch or hear yourself COMPARING to something or someone else? And why do you think you DO that? DO you have another CHOICE? What would it be? And why, or why not, DARE to try it?